A Journal Entry: My First Work Event Sober – 7 Years Ago Part 1

Looking back on my journey to sobriety, I can see how many key moments shaped the person I am today. I recently found an old journal entry from my first work event without alcohol, written seven years ago. It really highlights the fear and doubt that so many of us feel in those early days of getting sober.

I’m sharing this because I know how tough it can be to choose sobriety in a world where drinking is everywhere. Alcohol is the only drug society expects us to take as if it’s completely normal, and it’s pushed on us from every angle. But alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there—it’s addictive, damages our bodies and minds, and can make us feel even more isolated and anxious. Now, I get more anxiety at the thought of drinking than I ever do from not drinking.

Don’t let society’s views or an industry that profits off our struggles hold you back from the life you want. It’s okay to question the norm and make a choice that’s right for you.

Here’s a peek into my past...

It’s been one week since I last touched alcohol, but it feels like I’m thinking about it every second. I can hear that nagging voice in the back of my mind, whispering that I’m bound to fail, that I won’t be able to handle this without a drink. I feel embarrassed, even though I know this decision is good for me. It’s not something I decided lightly—it’s the result of years of pain, guilt, sickness, and anxiety caused by drinking. Yet, I’m scared of how I’ll be seen by others and, honestly, how I’ll see myself without alcohol. The hardest part about choosing sobriety is wondering how I’ll keep connecting with people and stay motivated when I’m no longer following the crowd.

This week has been better. No hangovers, so I’m feeling healthier and more productive. I’m not wasting my energy stressing about last night’s mistakes. I wish I could say one week sober has changed my life, but I know it’s going to take more time. These first few weeks will be tough. I have to remind myself that real change isn’t instant; I need to stay strong and let go of the need for immediate gratification. If I want to see the real benefits of being sober, I need to commit for the long haul.

Tomorrow is my first work event since I quit drinking, and I’m already anxious about it. I’m worried I’ll ruin people’s fun by being there sober, that I won’t be the “fun one” anymore. Or worse—that I’ll be bored and uncomfortable. We’re so conditioned to believe we should always feel good, but is that realistic? How can we ever change if we’re not willing to be uncomfortable sometimes?

I’m not sure I’m ready to tell people I’m sober yet. I’ll probably pretend my soda water is a vodka soda just to avoid the questions. And that’s okay for now—I’m still figuring this out. I know my confidence might falter, and I could be tempted to drink. If that happens, I need to remember to breathe and let the moment pass. Thoughts are just thoughts; they don’t have to turn into actions. For now, my plan is simple: keep a soda water in my hand and take it one moment at a time.